To the Editor:

Re “Gossip: It’s Fun, It’s Natural, and These People Won’t Do It,” by Michal Leibowitz (Opinion guest essay, Aug. 31):

Ms. Leibowitz assumes that the majority of “gossip” — talking about people who are not there — is negative. Certainly, curb or eliminate your need to endlessly complain about small grievances.

However, taking away the opportunity for a friend to say that an issue with your partner is normal and will pass, or not normal and cause for concern, or that a colleague is taking advantage of younger employees and may need to be stopped, or passing along something amazing that happened to a friend and inspires you, would trap all of us in the locked room of our own brains, without windows, endlessly circulating our own stale thoughts.

Talking about other people — problems, joys, sadnesses, successes — is how we understand ourselves, and when done thoughtfully, is empowering. Stories about other people have been the bedrock of society since people could communicate. They help us evolve, grow and thrive. No, we should not stop gossiping.

Phoebe MillerwhiteClaremont, Calif.

To the Editor:

I absolutely love this essay because it speaks to me at a time when I’m grappling with the true meaning of friendship.

I’ve found that gossip is a quick way to bond with new friends, whether they are male or female, but these connections don’t stand the test of time. Gossip is fleeting anyway, much like a sugar high; it comes and goes just like that. To be honest, it has sometimes given me a temporary boost by making me feel better about myself, as if seeing others’ flaws, struggles or even suffering somehow validates my own feelings.

For years, I’ve avoided refined sugar because of its harmful effects on health, and I’ve come to see gossip in a similar way. Completely eliminating it will be challenging, but I’m committed to significantly reducing my involvement.

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